1. |
Oh God
02:33
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Oh God
Do I need God?
Who is God?
I’ve never had God
Oh God
I don’t ever want to be alone
Maybe I should call my mom and say I’m moving home
I’m tired of saying bless this mess
But I’m too in love with Los Angeles
If I give up, I’ll regret it when I’m old
Fucking off and watching trashy TV
Spending all my twenties not believing anything
Oh God
Do I need God?
Who is God?
I’ve never had God
Oh God
I used to walk around downtown at night
Have conversations with strangers when they’d ask me for a light
I was smiling in the face of time
I was a touch naive but it really felt sublime
Fucking off at Starbucks
Cold brew coffee
Spending all my twenties not believing anything
Oh God
Do I need God?
Who is God?
I’ve never had God
Oh God
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2. |
Bad Thing
03:22
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Wake up hand upon my forehead
Can’t believe this is the way I live
Even now. Still somehow
Told my mom it was the last time
Told myself maybe it’s ok
One more time. One more time
I don’t wanna call first thing in the morning
Desperate for help to feel normal
Over and over and over again
I keep doing bad bad bad bad bad
I did a bad thing
I wasn’t thinking
I did a bad thing
Get caught in empty conversation
Fake friends and chemical temptations
Turn it down
Turn them down
This time I will take it slowly
Say no to everything I don’t need
Turn it down
Turn it down
I don’t wanna call first thing in the morning
Desperate for help to feel normal
Over and over and over again
I keep doing bad bad bad bad bad
I did a bad thing
I wasn’t thinking
I did a bad thing
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3. |
Get Out of My House
03:32
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You never wanna touch me
You only wanna make me cry
You never ever call me
You think that you can just come by
Then every time I see you
Standing in the door i feel alive
But now i understand that’s
Just you messing with my mind
Get out of my house
I don’t want to know you
Get out of my house
I don’t want to know you
Get up. Get out of my house
Get up. Get out of my house
Get up. Get out of my house
Come on. Get out.
I think i want romance
I think I want a happy cry
I think I want sunshine
Streaming out of my two eyes
I think I want to wake up
In the morning glad to be alive
Don’t wanna roll over and see you
You remind me life is terrifying
Get out of my house
I don’t want to know you
Get out of my house
I don’t want to know you
Get up. Get out of my house
Get up. Get out of my house
Get up. Get out of my house
Come on. Get out.
You call me crazy when i need someone to elevate me
I tried to hold you up. You only suffocate me.
‘member the night you looked in my eyes
Said my music didn’t matter
Hope you like it this time.
Get out of my house
I don’t want to know you
Get out of my house
I don’t want to know you
Get up. Get out of my house
Get up. Get out of my house
Get up. Get out of my house
Come on. Get out.
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4. |
Nothing to See
03:34
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I know you’ve been talking to girls on the internet
She’s only 19 and I can’t compete with that
I’ve been trying to change the way
I look so you like what you see
I’ve been losing weight so I can wear these dollskill jeans
Why did I do that?
Why did I do that?
Nothing has changed, I’m just sad and in pain
Said I would never be desperate
Look at me
Why did I do that?
Why did I do that?
Now I’m wearing black cause you like me like that
Said I would never be desperate
Look at me
There’s nothing to see here
There’s nothing to see
My mom was relieved when she heard I was through with you
But my heart still stops when I see a green Subaru
You told me that you loved me but you mispronounced my name
I never corrected you, cause I didn’t wanna push you away
Why did I do that?
Why did I do that?
Nothing has changed, I’m just sad and in pain
Said I would never be desperate
Look at me
Why did I do that?
Why did I do that?
Now I’m wearing black cause you like me like that
Said I would never be desperate
Look at me
There’s nothing to see here
There’s nothing to see
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5. |
Drugs or People
03:38
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I know you’ve been watching me all night
I know I look cute in torn black tights
I know we would get along real nice
That’s true
Don’t you smile at me with crooked teeth
Don’t you offer me a smoke or drink
I’m an animal you can’t trust me not to
Want you
You think you can handle me
But baby you can’t
You think you won’t lose your mind
You’ve already lost half
Don’t make me prove it to you
I’m trying not to use
Drugs or people
I’ll go home and turn on SVU
Drink my tea and touch me like it’s you
Pass out, wake up happy I’m alone
What a relief. What a relief. What a relief
You think you can handle me
But baby you can’t
You think you won’t lose your mind
You’ve already lost half
Don’t make me prove it to you
I’m trying not to use
Drugs or people
I don’t mean to make you fall in love so fast
I’m intense. I throw my head back when I laugh
I’ve given up that game. I’m done with getting high
But you gotta help me help myself cause I’m a Gemini
You think you can handle me,
But baby you can’t
You think you won’t lose your mind
You’ve already lost half
Don’t make me prove it to you
I’m trying not to use
Drugs or people
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6. |
Mommy
03:07
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My mother keeps secrets like a ghost
I ask her what her parents were like
She says that she doesn’t know
I find that hard to believe
If someone asked me to describe her
I’d recall everything
Mommy liked fried chicken
Mommy liked to eat slow
Mommy said the best part of leaving was to come home
Mommy never laughed when the joke wasn’t funny
Mommy gave me jars of orange blossom honey
Please tell me what makes this life mine
Maybe it is obvious
But can you explain one more time
If I am the kin of my kin
Where do my parents end and
Where do I begin?
Daddy always worked hard
Daddy always woke up
Earlier than everybody else
He didn’t sleep much
Daddy always wanted everyone to like him
I think I’m just like him
I think I’m just like him
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7. |
2007
04:09
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I haven’t felt safe since 2007
I haven’t felt safe since 2001
Pacing around my apartment
Keep my heart open
Call my friend in a cold sweat
Am I dying?
I don’t wanna be afraid of strangers or being lonely
I don’t wanna play it safe I’ll be brave. I’ll sing karaoke
I wanna smile real big
I wanna fucking live
I wanna smile real big
I wanna fucking live
I haven’t felt safe since 2007
I haven’t felt safe since 2001
I’m a little girl with a woman’s past
Never gotten used to having tits and ass
Never gotten used to living alone
I swear to god it’s gotta be unnatural
I don’t wanna be afraid of aging or gaining weight
I want to take up space
I wanna get up real early and stay up late
I wanna smile real big
I wanna fucking live
I wanna smile real big
I wanna fucking live
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8. |
Cockroach
02:43
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Crush me under the weight
Bitterness
Jealousy
Hate
Cause I’m a fucking cockroach
And you can’t kill me
I’m a fucking cockroach and you can’t kill me
Crush me
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9. |
Tetherball
03:16
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I’m not careful enough
I keep tearing through love
Like a tetherball swinging til it’s all tangled up
Whipping through the air til I’m stuck
I go through life like an eight ball
Til the powder stains the table
And I can read the price tag but keep scraping off the label
Telling myself that I’m stable
Laugh it off
Say I’m fine
Cause it’s harder to get better than to lie lie lie
Drinking mexican coke
Sitting on the sidewalk to smoke
Cane sugar steadies me and tells me a joke
Is life everything that you hoped?
Laugh it off
Say I’m fine
Cause it’s harder to get better than to lie lie lie
Sitting in your car
Curled up like a roach in the dark
Telling you the truth as the curtain slowly parts
Asking for another start
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10. |
Cartoon Clouds
03:10
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Everyday something makes me angry
Out of nowhere
Lose my temper
Can’t remember what happened
What are you laughing?
Convince me there’s something to lose
Describe it
What’s purpose for you
Look out of the window all the clouds are cartoons
And the sky is so blue
What’s the point in being gloomy
When there’s so much else to do
Guilty when I’m not having fun
Guilty when I get nothing done
What’s the point in being down about it
Can I move on?
So uncertain bout insert whatever applies to you
Nothing works today. Can’t recalibrate
I’ve got shit attitude
Convince me there’s something to lose
Look out of the window all the clouds are cartoons
And the sky is so blue
What’s the point in being gloomy
When there’s so much else to do
Guilty when I’m not having fun
Guilty when I get nothing done
What’s the point in being down about it
Can I move on?
I’ve been really feeling
Like my doubts are getting bigger
Like my luck is just a river
That is starting to run dry
But I don’t need no luck to make you smile
Baby can we sit here for a while
Doesn’t it feel good to feel good
Doesn’t it feel good to feel good
Feels good to feel good
Feels good to feel good
Feels good to feel good
Feel good feel good
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11. |
So Clear
03:32
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I was down like you see in the movies
Crying on the bathroom floor
Blaming everybody around me
Hating myself more
I was desperate like you read in the paper
Screaming in oblivion
I was alone in a lonesome place til I finally said I’m done
10,000 days of waking up
I pull myself out of the dust
I’m sun and sea
So suddenly
So clear to me so clear to me
I was torn between two bad decisions
Standing on the side of the road
Looking in the eyes of a strange
Who told me I’d be nothing alone
But I said no, no
Just watch me go
10,000 days of waking up
I pull myself out of the dust
I’m sun and sea
So suddenly
So clear to me so clear to me
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12. |
Ordinary
02:52
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Put my t-shirt on
Look at myself and yawn
Is it okay to be ordinary?
Take chemicals
To try to be more whole
Maybe a fractions all I’m meant to feel
I can’t have it all
And I wouldn’t want to
I can’t have it all
And I wouldn’t want to
Put your makeup on
Sit on the bed and watch
I love the way you care
Enough to comb your hair
I take my tshirt off
I know it’s what you want
I love your love for me
So ordinary
I can’t have it all
And I wouldn’t want to
I can’t have it all
And I wouldn’t want to
Our life is small but it’s big enough for me
I don’t need any fancy things oh
Our life is small but it’s big enough for me
I can’t have it all
And I wouldn’t want to
I can’t have it all
And I wouldn’t want to
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13. |
Shortstop
03:20
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I’m overjoyed to be home
Red eye to LA, through customs
But then I can’t sleep at night
I’m always distracted by
Construction and street lights
And feeling alone
Climb griffith park at sunrise
Somebody tagged the Hollywood sign
We all want to make it
Humiliating to admit
How much we need it
And how we’re alone
If you don’t smoke now
You’ll be smoking
If you don’t drink yet
You’ll be drinking
If you don’t dance free
You’ll be dancing
Meet me at the Shortstop
No need to get dressed up
Meet me at the Shortstop
If you don’t quit now
You’re a dead end
Quit that juul
Quit that drink
Get some new friends
Get your work hard / play safe balance
Meet me at the Shortstop
No need to get fucked up
Meet me at the Shortstop
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